This is going to be kind of long and complicated. But this is what the universe via the full moon, equinox, and light-worker community, have brought to light for myself.

I have already decided upon my 2019 intention, because I know that like my intention for 2018 to be light and love, this is one that will need to be explored, tested and perfected over time.

Personally this for me this idea of WORTH, is twofold, both personally and in business. This does tie into the video I did on my shadow work in regards value of self, although slightly different in nature.

Personally it means knowing my boundaries setting and maintaining them with those in and out of my life, which I know will be challenged. I know I often give the benefit of the doubt too often and can have misguided faith-belief in others. I know I need to work on seeing MY WORTH, as an individual separate from any and everyone.

On the side of business it’s even more complicated and this is why I wanted to put this out into the universe, before the new year rolls around.

I’ve had much conflicting feelings about my services, when I will start to charge for services (trying to remain with legality in this regard) but once I do have my licensing what then? I’ve had some say, fill your soul not your pocket, which was actually in regards to a question I had about professionalism vs authentic self. But it got me thinking more about the dilemma at hand. Reality is we live in a world that runs on money, I have bills just the same as you, I had to pay for much of my training and resources, and I don’t get paid for research and development of skills, or anything related to my business.

On one hand yes, this is my soul work and purpose, I want to help to the best of my abilities; and on the other hand I do have a family I want to support, I want to have that financial freedom as much as you do, it’s a part of this material body and world, it just is a reality.

In reading Red Tent, it really touched me that people would pay out of their desire whether it was money or goods, etc. out of pure gratitude. I would never deny someone who needs help, that goes against everything I stand for both on a soul level and a conscious level. Plus, I don’t like the idea of profiting from pain, or denying help because someone can’t afford my fees. I’m reminded of the quote, “no one becomes poor by giving.”

There is also another quote that says, “Friends will ask for discount prices, a true friend will pay full price to support your time, work and dreams.” I’ve experienced this to be true both in this and my previous endeavors, and ties in with WORTH, on a personal level as you learn how people truly view you on all levels.

I also don’t like the idea of marketing or “selling” myself/ products/ service, which is why from the start I decided to only work by referral, and sharing my posts within like minded communities. In all of my training courses, they touch on marketing and charging your fees, talking about valuing yourself, your skills, your time from the get go, but I don’t know, it seems more complicated. I know that there are always people out there who are willing to pay the price, to get the help they seek, but what about those who want and need it and cant afford it, who helps them, they’re often the ones who need it most. Do you see where my heart gets torn for those souls?

Unfortunately there are also those who believe that people like me shouldn’t charge at all, and that’s honestly not fair. Just because something is spiritual in nature or that it’s your soul work or purpose doesn’t mean it’s not work, hard work, worth compensation.

I had someone reach out to me, I have no idea how they found me, in desperate want of help, for a life long disability. I had mentioned that I’m not charging my fees yet, but only a donation towards my time, if they were able is appreciated, as it goes towards paying for my licensing. They told me they have no income or way of repayment, and I told them not to worry about it. But it made me think more about how I would never deny someone in need of help who reaches out to me, but how do I even begin to ask for my fee when they do. It’s honestly so complicated for me, my soul has literally been torn, on this subject.

Like I said I know it’s going to be a long complicated journey. Anyway I just wanted to air that for you all; I’m about 100% transparency. Id never expect anyone to share with me, if I didn’t share myself as well. I have my shadows, I’m not without fears or faults, but I’ve learned that they can help both myself and others when they are brought to light.

I have added a disclaimer on every page of my website stating “Also open to trades, barters, and other payment forms.” I feel that for now, maybe for the entirety of my life… who knows; that this will help bridge the gap between this conflict of soul and the material world.

So like always, just know my metaphorical [metaphysical😉] door is open to you, no matter your need or circumstance. If your soul feels the urge to pay the fee, barter, trade, donate, write a superb testimonial or what have you, all I ask is you do what your able, with the knowledge in mind, that I, like you am doing what I can to survive in this world,mentally, emotionally and physically.